I used to listen to a public radio show called The Splendid Table on a regular basis where a listener would call in with a list of random foods in their refrigerator like smoked salmon, grape jelly, truffle oil, and cottage cheese; and the host would have to make a meal from it on the fly. Then, a guest judge would deem the recipe successful or not successful.

As Nick recovers from his intense fourth week of chemo and begins his fifth, our kitchen often feels like an episode of “Stump the Cook” because his tastes and appetite change radically throughout the cycles, especially after the most intense week. Nick typically likes bold, spicy flavors, but blander foods are now more palatable. Rice, bananas, toast, and turkey are key components in his recovery diet. A whiff of butter or anything too rich makes him immediately nauseous. 

On Saturday, Nick said he craved a Chipotle burrito bowl, but he knew that it would be risky. I walked around the kitchen, digging through the refrigerator, the pantry, and cupboards. “I can make this work,” I thought.

The menu consisted of the following: plain rice, black beans, pressure-cooked chicken breasts, “guacamole” (basically mashed avocado with a little lime juice), and salsa made from canned crushed tomatoes. While it was still a bit much for his stomach, he didn't want to throw it up. Success! 

Nick and I have always loved to cook and eat adventurously together, which makes this part of the process challenging for both of us. Food preparation is no longer a hobby--it’s a matter of figuring out how many nutrients and calories can be packed into a bland diet, which will give Nick the fuel to continue fighting this thing. Cooking also gives me a sense of purpose and a tiny bit of control over the situation even if I'm simply boiling a humble potato.